dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
