no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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