So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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