She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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