She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
