Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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