I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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