Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize