More tranny stories later!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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