Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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