Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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