How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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