And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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