Whod you bang
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
