Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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