oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
