I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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