you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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