if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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