I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is Oprah even human
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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