I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
