from now on my penis is your penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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