bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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