you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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