i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
