you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
