We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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