My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
