We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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