fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
