$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
