he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
