You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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