i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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