their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
