At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
