Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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