i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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