sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
