im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
