I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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