Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize