i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize