Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
