This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
