a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
God, I missed his penis.
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