we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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