idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
