Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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