absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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