Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
