he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My bed smells like the plague
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
