dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
