somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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