Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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