Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
