you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
