im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
