I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
