halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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