I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
