did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
