at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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