Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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